Tuesday, July 6, 2010

damage

Alright i know i haven't written in a while. as usual, a lot is going on in my life. getting my driving situation figured out, job hunting, family time, planning my graduation party, getting my college situation figured out, i love being busy but there is so much!
this post i guess is more about me reflecting on where I'm at in life right now, I'm still trying to figure out more of who i am, i don't think any of us will ever stop trying to find ourselves, there will always be something new we will learn about ourselves, that's the beauty of life i guess, were always changing, wouldn't life be so boring if we stayed the same all the time? i know i personally don't like change but i force myself to adapt quickly to new things. well getting back on track here, I've kind of been focusing on different things lately with myself and theres one thing that i cant seem to get my mind off of. as you all know i had been talking about my ex and how he basically broke me down completely and left me totally damaged. I've been telling myself that I'm okay with being single, which i am for right now but I've had guys that have asked me out on dates ever since we broke up and i find myself backing away from guys that are attracted to me and basically the whole dating scene in general, but i feel like its like a new fear i have now, i don't want to date because I'm so scared I'm going to go through what i went through 2 months ago, there was so much indescribable hurt in that situation, and I'm just afraid i wont be able to fall in love again someday, and that's what i long for so much, i want to fall so deeply in love, get married and possibly have a baby, live that "fairytale" life. i just strongly feel that God would not create me to long so much for love to not let those things happen for me someday, i just pray that my heart can be healed one day and that i will attract the most amazing man ever. i guess this post isn't about me giving advice but i want to reverse the role this time, if you guys could tell me what you think and maybe say a prayer or two for me that would mean so much to me.
love, me

1 comment:

  1. Ali, it takes time. Maybe dating isn't what is best for you right now. Honestly, it can't hurt you to take as much time as you need to focus on YOURSELF. When you bring boys into the picture, you loose site of your priorities & they become your main focus. It should NOT be that way. Don't be afraid to ever date again because there is someone who will treat you like the princess you are. Just maybe lay low for a little while and let GOD put the man in your life, don't go out looking for one..I dont know..just a thought..

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