Times

if you ever need any encouragement throughout your day, i would strongly recommend listening to tenth avenue north, their song called "times" is probably the most encouraging song, about forgiveness and God's divine love for us. just thought i would put my favorite lyrics out there ...

I hear You say,

"My love is over. It's underneath.
It's inside. It's in between.
The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.
The times that you question, 'Is this for real? '
The times you're broken.
The times that you mend.
The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.
Well, My love is over, it's underneath.
It's inside, it's in between.
These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.
The times you're hurting.
The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I'm there through your heartache.
I'm there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.
I don't care where you fall, where you have been.
I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends."

- tenth avenue north's "times"

by the way everyone, the road to my weight loss has been a little difficult, but im making some progress,i never realized how much i've been eating, not to mention how BAD ive been eating, its kind of scary to think about, im doing this to not only boost my confidence and to look better to myself and others but to restore my health and hopefully not have any asthma issues anymore, so please keep praying for me. i appreciate each and every one of them :)

love, me

comfort

2 consolation for grief or anxiety : a few words of comfort.• reassurance : they should take comfort that help is available.• [in sing. ] a person or thing that gives consolation : his friendship was a great

This past week i decided that i wanted to go to my friends college small group, i have been trying out different groups to see which one i mesh with the best and i decided that i really enjoy going to both my friends group and a group that i have out in surprise. I have had a lot of extra junk in my life these past couple of weeks so going to my friends group was like a release for me, i walked through the doors of her church and instantly felt comfort and warmth, her friends came up to me to talk to me and made me feel really welcome, then worship began, i sat with my friend which by the way she is a shining example of a follower of christ, the lights dimmed and the music began, im always a huge fan of worship music but that night for some reason i had been angry because of all the junk that was still on my shoulders from the past few months, i continue to dwell on what has happened to me, i looked around the room and saw people raising their hands as they felt the holy spirit move through them, it was so beautiful, at that moment i bowed my head and said a little prayer to myself asking God to come in and move me, to use me in some way, not even a few minutes later i completley felt God inside of me, which is always such a powerful feeling, and i began to sob, i felt surrender, comfort and love all around me, later into the worship session the group in the room came together in a circle and joined hands, at that point i felt such a deep connection in the room, we were all intimate with eachother and said prayers for everyone, at the end of everything people i had not even talked to came up to me and hugged me, they told me they were glad that i came, so was i. later that night around midnight or so, i needed my friends to lead me to the freeway so i could get home, but i needed gas, so we stopped by a gas station and it was just us and another woman parked at a pump, i tried using my debit card but it wouldint work so i tried to ask the cashier if he would help me, but he was closing, i heard the woman scrambling out of her car asking if he was open because she needed to pay her last couple of dollars for gas so she could get home. she looked like she was on drugs and she asked me if she broke down on her way to the next gas station if i would come pick her up i thought "yeah okay you crazy woman, i dont want to help you, youre too weird" but as i got back to my car i heard her weeping and i heard Gods still small voice telling me "what you've done unto the least of these, you've done unto me" so i filled her tank, it turns out that day was her birthday and she has been going through a rough divorce and a custody battle with her kids and her water had been shut off at her house, she began to hyperventilate saying how grateful she was, and we talked for a while, what was so rewarding for me was that i gave her comfort, i was a small light in her dark day just knowing i helped someone made me feel really good.i was simply giving back. i remember 2 months ago i was sitting outside of my grandpas work waiting for him to get off and i began to dwell on my family situation and i sobbed for a good thirty minutes, in that time people would walk by me and just stare but one woman named mary, ill never forget her name, came up to me and just talked with me, she was a comfort, a light in my dark life. i know that night when i helped julie at the gas station that i did the same thing for her what mary did for me.

"The King will answer them, 'Most certainly I tell you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'- Matt. 25:40

oh and by the way everyone, im starting my diet today, im not using a scale or anything, afterall weight is only a number right? ill be posting pictures along with my posts to show you my progress. wish me luck! love, me

booooo

comfort

2 consolation for grief or anxiety : a few words of comfort.• reassurance : they should take comfort that help is available.• [in sing. ] a person or thing that gives consolation : his friendship was a great This past week i decided that i wanted to go to my friends college small group, i have been trying out different groups to see which one i mesh with the best and i decided that i really enjoy going to both my friends group and a group that i have out in surprise. I have had a lot of extra junk in my life these past couple of weeks so going to my friends group was like a release for me, i walked through the doors of her church and instantly felt comfort and warmth, her friends came up to me to talk to me and made me feel really welcome, then worship began, i sat with my friend which by the way she is a shining example of a follower of christ, the lights dimmed and the music began, im always a huge fan of worship music but that night for some reason i had been angry because of all the junk that was still on my shoulders from the past few months, i continue to dwell on what has happened to me, i looked around the room and saw people raising their hands as they felt the holy spirit move through them, it was so beautiful, at that moment i bowed my head and said a little prayer to myself asking God to come in and move me, to use me in some way, not even a few minutes later i completley felt God inside of me, which is always such a powerful feeling, and i began to sob, i felt surrender, comfort and love all around me, later into the worship session the group in the room came together in a circle and joined hands, at that point i felt such a deep connection in the room, we were all intimate with eachother and said prayers for everyone, at the end of everything people i had not even talked to came up to me and hugged me, they told me they were glad that i came, so was i. later that night around midnight or so, i needed my friends to lead me to the freeway so i could get home, but i needed gas, so we stopped by a gas station and it was just us and another woman parked at a pump, i tried using my debit card but it wouldint work so i tried to ask the cashier if he would help me, but he was closing, i heard the woman scrambling out of her car asking if he was open because she needed to pay her last couple of dollars for gas so she could get home. she looked like she was on drugs and she asked me if she broke down on her way to the next gas station if i would come pick her up i thought "yeah okay you crazy woman, i dont want to help you, youre too weird" but as i got back to my car i heard her weeping and i heard Gods still small voice telling me "what you've done unto the least of these, you've done unto me" so i filled her tank, it turns out that day was her birthday and she has been going through a rough divorce and a custody battle with her kids and her water had been shut off at her house, she began to hyperventilate saying how grateful she was, and we talked for a while, what was so rewarding for me was that i gave her comfort, i was a small light in her dark day just knowing i helped someone made me feel really good.i was simply giving back. i remember 2 months ago i was sitting outside of my grandpas work waiting for him to get off and i began to dwell on my family situation and i sobbed for a good thirty minutes, in that time people would walk by me and just stare but one woman named mary, ill never forget her name, came up to me and just talked with me, she was a comfort, a light in my dark life. i know that night when i helped julie at the gas station that i did the same thing for her what mary did for me."The King will answer them, 'Most certainly I tell you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'- Matt. 25:40oh and by the way everyone, im starting my diet today, im not using a scale or anything, afterall weight is only a number right? ill be posting pictures along with my posts to show you my progress. wish me luck! love, me

damage

Alright i know i haven't written in a while. as usual, a lot is going on in my life. getting my driving situation figured out, job hunting, family time, planning my graduation party, getting my college situation figured out, i love being busy but there is so much!

this post i guess is more about me reflecting on where I'm at in life right now, I'm still trying to figure out more of who i am, i don't think any of us will ever stop trying to find ourselves, there will always be something new we will learn about ourselves, that's the beauty of life i guess, were always changing, wouldn't life be so boring if we stayed the same all the time? i know i personally don't like change but i force myself to adapt quickly to new things. well getting back on track here, I've kind of been focusing on different things lately with myself and theres one thing that i cant seem to get my mind off of. as you all know i had been talking about my ex and how he basically broke me down completely and left me totally damaged. I've been telling myself that I'm okay with being single, which i am for right now but I've had guys that have asked me out on dates ever since we broke up and i find myself backing away from guys that are attracted to me and basically the whole dating scene in general, but i feel like its like a new fear i have now, i don't want to date because I'm so scared I'm going to go through what i went through 2 months ago, there was so much indescribable hurt in that situation, and I'm just afraid i wont be able to fall in love again someday, and that's what i long for so much, i want to fall so deeply in love, get married and possibly have a baby, live that "fairytale" life. i just strongly feel that God would not create me to long so much for love to not let those things happen for me someday, i just pray that my heart can be healed one day and that i will attract the most amazing man ever. i guess this post isn't about me giving advice but i want to reverse the role this time, if you guys could tell me what you think and maybe say a prayer or two for me that would mean so much to me.

love, me